sacrifice

from Latin sacrificare; sacer sacred, holy + facere to make.

1. To make an offering of; to consecrate or present to a divinity by way of expiation or propitiation, or as a token acknowledgment or thanksgiving; to immolate on the altar of God, in order to atone for sin, to procure favor, or to express thankfulness;

2. Hence, to destroy, surrender, or suffer to be lost, for the sake of obtaining something; to give up in favor of a higher or more imperative object or duty; to devote, with loss or suffering.

3. To destroy; to kill.

4. To sell at a price less than the cost or actual value.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, 1996

the two ways of loosing

Here starts a conversation between Parvati and Armin about going for a bike ride and loosing the portable pump. 

Armin to Parvati: „You got a new portable pump to attach to the bike and you are wondering where to install the screws on it. You have two possibilities: the first one being attached on the main horizontal frame of the bike and the second having it in the vertical frame where your sit ends. If you by chance got to loose the pump because of intense vibrations in the bike, having it in the main frame would not involve any risk on you, i.e it won’t get stuck with any mechanical component like breaks or wheels and it won’t disturb the way of the bike either. However you would probably never see it falling - that means you will remain safe but you won’t notice having lost the pump until you‘ll probably reach back home. If by the contrary you have the pump attached to the vertical frame which supports your sit and your pump falls, it will very likely catch your back wheel, putting yourself at risk of falling out of the bike. That means you won’t be safe, but you will obviously notice the pump is not in the place it should be and you might be able to catch it. 

After some minutes in silence, Armin asks Parvati: „so which option would you choose to install the pump?“

Parvati answers: „I prefer to take the second option and attach it in the vertical frame. Even if I fall, I‘d at least notice that the pump was not correctly attached and I have the possibility to not loose it on the way forever“. 

I apply this to any situation in life: better loosing and knowing you are loosing even if it hurts, rather than loosing blind and realising it too late. In the first option I might have still the chance to find it again. 

Armin seems to agree but just before saying bye to Parvati he mentioned: „Well, but if the fall doesn’t allow you to ride any more, then the pump is automatically removed from the equation, and all this discussion does not matter anymore“.

surrender at the feet of the divine

 then he will take over

parvati

 you know, the thing of Parvati is that she is always flying from there to there, from there to there, from there to there. She just loves it. But she‘s learning to hover now, slowly slowly. 

it’s everything perfect

 always. never forget it.

buz why everyone wants to spend time with me? I feel I just made to fly alone, free.

huecos

 entre silencios 

y respirar

hueco de un sin estar 

sin vivir en mí 

sin casa, sin poder cuidarse

un lujo que tuve, aunque a medias 

decidí y renuncié

para escuchar este espacio 

de huecos, cavidades

donde formar mi yo

mi casa

algodón de madre

 Soy algodón, ella lo es también. Nos enrollamos juntas, formamos un hilo inflamable, creamos luz. Creación y destrucción, somos algodón.